My guy friend said this to me once, and I feel as though all men need to hear this: If you want to know what girls gossip about, try paying attention when they are talking to you. You don't have to pay us, we will just tell you. However, ladies feel free to use this for monetary gain. Hell, you can even make stuff up so the guy will keep paying you for information. It's not like he's going to act on it anyway. Not the point though. Point is my friend wanted to know what girls around the station said about him, and he was so curious he would be willing to pay. Unfortunately, I demanded no money and now I have to tell him for free. Learn from my mistake.
However, this got me thinking, what other things do my guy friends ask of me? What deep and meaningful knowledge do I have of the female brain do I have that they have craved to extract from me? Mostly they just want me to explain what a text from a girl meant, or if because that girl talked to them it means she likes them. By the way the answer is no not necessarily; especially since she was drunk, or you were. As far as the texting thing goes, I have been called over to my friends house to read a text from a girl and tell him what it is she meant by "yeah getting together sounds great, I'm just sooo busy right now." I think we already know the answer to that one. Why am I being summoned away from my leisure to tell you what you already know?
I have also been asked things like, "why do girls enjoy facials?" and by facials I mean blowing your cum all over her face. To that I can only respond "who the fuck told you we enjoy those?!?!" We don't like being sprayed with your little buddies, girls have just agreed to it because for some reason you guys enjoy it. And if you find a girl that won't object more power to you but that doesn't mean she likes it. I'm sure some girls do, but I haven't met one. The funny thing was after telling this guy this, he seemed like he had genuinely been informed of something. Which begs the question, are men this easy to impress? If a girl doesn't object to something are you automatically impressed? Are there that many stuck up bitches out there? For example, the blow job has become a pretty standard thing, yet I have seen two men get all excited at the discovery that a girl they knew did them. When I informed them it wasn't a big deal, they continued to get excited....seriously guys? Are you really this easy? But it's true; you are. All I have to say is shoes and men automatically tune out and in order to get them back? Take your pick of phrases. Lesbian experience, free porn, blow job, this one time at band camp. Basically anything that is related to or can be related to sex and they are all ears.
But I've gotten away from the point. Men, if you really want to know what women gossip about listen to your girlfriend talk about her friends just once instead of tuning her out to listen to the game. We know you don't actually care, but if your so curious tune in for 5 minutes and you'll get a better understanding. Granted you wont get the whole story, because when your not around we do talk about you guys, a lot. Like we tell each other everything. Yes, everything. If you cried to The Notebook, we know about it. If you purposed a crazy sex move, we know about. We know things about our female friends we never wanted to know, and that means we know more about their boyfriends then we ever wanted to know. Or the guys they fooled around with. Especially if you were an asshole. Then all your poor or small qualities will be spread like wildfire. Which is just another reason you should treat us with respect, because if we really wanted to we could destroy your life. Were just nice people and we tend not to.
But again I digress. Men what you need to take away from this post: Girls gossip about you all the time, and yes we know what your dick size is. If you want more information please contact your closest female friend and she will inform you of what you want to know. Most likely. No guarantees though. Women what you need to take away from this post is: Men are stupid and we have a lot more power over them then we realize. Even if some of the power isn't totally ethical or legal. I mean we can't technically blackmail them, but even within our legal and ethical boundaries we're still a lot more powerful then you might think.
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